Back again

So just dropping a line in that this is going to become pretty active again hopefully. God’s doing some amazing things in my life right now, so I want to tell everyone about it! :-) See ya soon!!!

Love,

April <><


Song of the day: Big Daddy Weave “You found me”

hear it here

I saw three AM come and go again
Another sleepless night, thanks to living my own way
All my great ideas, I’ve regretted most of them
But that was back long before the day

When I saw a flash of light and I heard the sound
Of a voice like thunder shake the ground
It was the first time I remember ever feeling my heartbeat
And the arms that gripped me felt like grace
And I realized in their embrace
To be held so tight
I’ve never felt so free
Also know as the day that you found me

My whole life has changed ever since the day You came
The way I see, the things I want, it’s everything
Some may call it strange, I don’t care what people say
I knew You were the only way

I’ve never known a love like this
You’ve captured my heart and You brought the sweetest
Peace to my life, brought me into the light
Now I’m all Yours, Jesus, draw me into You

I don’t think that I could ever be the same
Who would want to be anyway

no comment

we’re not even going to talk about how long it’s been since I’ve been up here…..


anyways! Got back last week from an amazing week at camp Caswell. I’ve never been moved by God like I was last week…I’m pretty sure. It was absolutely wonderful! I’m so excited. I’ve put in college applications, I’m ready to leave, I wanna go spread the gospel everywhere!!!! :-D So I’m going to put the sermons from camp up here over the next few days but nothing right now cause I’m tired and have to get up early to help someone move furniture!

Love from Jesus,

April

weddings…

wow….I have been to three weddings in the past two months (I was in one) and I’m getting so many ideas ;-) . Yeah, one day….

You know the most beautiful part though…is knowing that this was orchestrated by our Beautiful Lord God!!! :-D Isn’t he just amazing? Leeanne and Ben were together forever….Christine and David met doing God’s work….Michele and William defied all odds to be with the one God had for them….It’s just amazing to me how much God loves us. It’s coming for me one day…I can feel it. Until then, I will pour into the lives of those around me and focus on my Savior and Lord and giving Him ALL the glory! :-)

Needless to say it’s been a good day. Michele was beautiful, William cried, and hanging out with Mr. and Mrs. Link (;-) David and Christine) was as fun as always. They are so cute now that they are having to adjust to everything being theirs and living together. :-) It’s awesome!

Love from Jesus (the handsomest groom there is!),
April <><

Marks of the True Christian

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:9-21

Wow, can you say convicting? When was the last time you tried to outdo someone in honor? Yeah, I couldn’t tell you either. Now, I don’t think Paul is saying if you don’t do these things you aren’t a christian. I think it’s more that these things should be seen in your life if you are a christian/ways others can tell you’re a christian.

A few that really hit me were: let love be genuine, be fervent in spirit, and overcome evil with good.

Let love be genuine: I can’t count the times that I’ve hugged my mom or done something for someone and the whole time I’m thinking, “Are we done yet?” My love was conditional on when I wanted to show it and how. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t love them but itsn’t it just as bad if I am only loving them grudgingly? I might as well not be loving them at all! Genuine love is described in 1 Cor 13 and it is unconditional. If I do things for others but have not love, I’m nothing. It doesn’t insist on its own way and endures all. Lord I pray your love would pour through my heart and teach me genuine love that reflects you and gives you all the glory.

Be fervent in spirit: This fits in well with my post about Phillip. So often we sit on the sidelines and watch those we call “fanatics” chase God and go on missions and do the work at church. Guys, we are ALL called to do these things! Deuteronomy 6:5 says we are to love God with all our hearts, souls, and might. Deuteronomy 4:29 says to seek and Lord and find him, we must search with all we are. Those who seek with a fervent spirit will find God everytime. He also calls us to be doers of the word, not just hearers (James 1:22) and to stir one another up to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24). But the passage that really shows the severity of what Paul says here (Romans) is Revelations 3:16, 19. Jesus tells the Church in Laodicea, “So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth…so be zealous and repent.”

Overcome evil with good: Does anybody remeber their parents telling them to “just kill ‘em with kindness” when people were mean? Maybe y’all didn’t get picked on like I did, but my grandma would tell me that all the time (and still does). We all know Jesus has defeated the devil (see Genesis 3:15, Matthew 4:10-11, 1 Corinthians 15:54-57, Revelations 12:9, 20:7-10). Only God can truly overcome all evil, but if we are saved then he has already overcome the evil in us because the devil no longer has a hold on us. He can stil mess with us (look at Job) but it’s all with God’s permission and foreknowledge. So, as a christian, God dwells in me and through my life, he uses good to conquer the evil of this world and to shine his glory for all to see. :-)

Let me know what strikes you about this passage. I thought it was all very good but I feel like there is an awful lot of “me” to let go of and a lot of room for God to shine through.

God, mold my life and heart so others would see more of you and less of me. Oh that I would hide behind your cross, Jesus, and lead others only to you and not any good that may be in me.

Love from Jesus,

April <><

No lyrics for today but books:

Desiring God by John Piper (website)

Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy (website)

(both tie in well with this and the Phillip post)

5 years

wow…so I was checking out my old xanga site and it’s crazy how much I and my concerns have changed over the past 5 years…sometimes I wish I could go back to that girl who had just graduated but I know that’s not God’s will for my life. You should check it out if you get time…it’s pretty crazy…

http://www.xanga.com/witness2004

Love,
April

Make me a Phillip…

On Sunday, my pastor, Mr. Porter, spoke on the calling of Phillip and Nathanael from John 1.

The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. He found Philip and said to him, “Follow me.” Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. Philip found Nathanael and said to him, “We have found him of whom Moses in the Law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!” Nathanael said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” Nathanael answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” Jesus answered him, “Because I said to you, ‘I saw you under the fig tree,’ do you believe? You will see greater things than these.” And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”
(John 1:43-51)

Now when Jesus called Phillip, the 1st thing he did was run to tell others. we should have an amazing, all-out joy to tell the world of our Savior not just when we meet him, but through out our life. We should be jumping out of our skin to see others come to salvation. Jesus has called us to be excited, not timid. I mean, a whole movement was started by 12 people who were obedient and got excited about Jesus. Phillip ran to Nathanael with no shame or hesitation because he knew Jesus was the real thing, the Messiah they were all longing for. What an impact we could made just being who Jesus saved us to be? All-out, whole-hearted christians who loved God and loved other people enough to give up anything that they might have the chance to respond to Jesus. We could spread the gospel to the whole world in months. So much could get done and God would always receive the glory because he is most glorified when we are most satisfied in him. What greater satisfaction can come than knowing you’re helping to add one more to the kingdom? :-D

So this got me thinking, why don’t we do this all the time? Why aren’t we running around screaming about Jesus and all he’s done for our lives? We have a conference coming up for the youth that teaches them how to witness to and pray for their unsaved friends and others around them. I think this is a great idea, but it can’t be supplemental. This can’t be the only time we share with them the gospel and guide their hearts toward loving others enough to pray for their salvation and to talk to them about it. Why isn’t our everyday goal to share Jesus? We’re pushing this conference, but why aren’t we pushing them everyday to talk to others? This year for summer camp we’re going to Caswell during Deep Impact week, a week where we spend every morning doing various missions in the area like singing in nursing homes and talking to people on the beach about Jesus over some volleyball. Why aren’t we helping people everyday? So often we act like ministry is an option. Our main goal of being here is to glorify God. How much more glorified can God get than us showing his love to others?

Over the past few months, I’ve had a few opportunities to visit the Kennedy Baptist Children’s Home. We’ve only visited the girls and they seem so happy. However, you can see how jaded some of them are and how much they doubted our sincerity. Most of the time it felt like they were just putting on a show. Most of them seemed to have no hope…but that’s not true! There is hope! Jesus is our hope. I so wanted to remind them how much God loves them and how beautiful they are because they were fearfully and wonderfully made by him.  We’ve asked the head guy what we  can do and he pretty much told us whatever. How sad is it that we can go whenever we want because not many other people are coming to see them? Isn’t that one of our jobs as the church, to take care of orphans and widows? We’re supposed to defend and care for those who have no one else. I know they may be better off there, but really it doesn’t matter where they are if no one is showing them the true love of Christ by caring and telling them how much they are loved despite their circumstances.

I know this is a big statement but I think we as the church have fallen short of our job description. We’re coming to church (the building), singing songs, and loving God, but he also told us to take care of his children and show that love to all others. Like Phillip, we should be willing to bear all ridicule, put aside our reputation and feelings of fear, and shout the gospel from the mountain tops. We can do and do and do, but unless we’re telling people why we are washing cars or visiting nursing homes or leaving groceries for needy people, they have received nothing but a handout. So I’m praying God will give me a joy to spread the gospel and make me more willing to risk others thoughts of me by shouting how great his love is and everything he has done for me. Let me not focus on what I have or what my future holds and instead focus on how to most glorify God in ALL I do.

Love from Jesus,

April

Song of the day (it’s been a while): Jimmy Needham Speak

a little taste of Jimmy

We mostly keep to ourselves ’round here
No sense rockin’ the boat ’round here
We watch you dance into hell ’round here
It’s time we speak His mind ’round here

Oh, so open your mouth, open it wide
Quit singing songs for a minute tonight
You can love with your hands, you can love with your deeds
How will they know if they know if we don’t even speak?

We are the social workers, and we’ll put springs on your car
We’ll make your ride so smooth, yes we will
That you’ll forget where you are
Don’t forget where you are

So open your mouth, open it wide
Quit singing songs for a minute tonight
You can love with your hands, you can love with your deeds
How will they know if we won’t even speak?

Cause I’m getting sick and I’m getting tired
I’m not even hearing us preach to the choir

So open your mouth, open it wide
Quit singing songs for a minute tonight
You can love with your hands, you can love with your deeds
How will they know if we won’t even speak?

Open your mouth, open it wide
Quit singing songs for a minute tonight
You can love with your hands, you can love with your deeds
How will they know if we don’t even, won’t even, don’t even speak?

sweet freedom!!!

So, I’ve been praying for a long time to get over this addiction to fanfiction. Sometimes I could quit for a few days and other times Icould go for a few months, but always in the end, I was right back reading it all the time.

Well Tuesday night I was reading and all of a sudden I just couldn’t read it anymore (it was one of the worse one and I was appauled at what I was doing). A few days prior, I had deleted all my favorites but still went back and read a few stories I had saved somewhere else. I haven’t had any desire since Tuesday night to go back to it. I know that’s only 2 days but that’s a big deal for me. To have not even had a desire for it is nothing short of a miracle!!! I have been trying for YEARS to shake this and that’s the problem. God has been telling me that this is a season of trial and perseverance and to be patient and wait because He is coming. Finally, he has come! Even though I was still reading it, I was trying and fighting to quit and he was growing and changing my heart the whole time to make it ready for when he took this struggle from me. I AM FREE!!!!

Now in the back of my mind, there is this seed of doubt that this time is like the others and I’ll go right back to it but we’re gonna put that aside right now and know that this is God and it is for real! I have to have faith that this time is different. I have to have faith that this struggle is really over, the temptation is gone, and God has taken those desires and thoughts away. Thank you God!!! God really has taught me a lot through this. He has reminded me why it is so important to guard our hearts against anything unpure of this world.

Please continue to pray that this time is real and all this struggle has grown me for the better because I have persevered through it. I pray that this doubt leaves and I can continue to trust and find rest and refuge in God from it.

When I was a senior in high school, a man from the church I was going to, who knew nothing but my name, prophesied over me (spoke truth from God over my life) and he told me it was time to cease my fighting and realize that only God could conquer all the things I was trying to do on my own. My own strength would get me nowhere. I had to place my weakness in God’s hands and know he would carry me through it all. I love how God works. Five years later, he’s showing me how true that really was. No matter how many times I put sin or trials or anything in my life down, I will always pick it up again. When I truly hand it over to God, he takes my burden and gives me rest from the fight for my life. I heard an analogy one time of a child who cried to his parents because his toy was broken. He handed them the toy but as they tried to fix it, he snatched it right back and continued to complain about its broken state. This is how we live life most of the time. We want to fix it, but we don’t have the ability so we whine to God that it’s still broken. If we would just hand it over, he would fix it and hand it back like brand new.

God, I thank you for loosing these chains and showing me true freedom from my flesh. Thank you for giving me courage to move on with life and not whine over the wrong I’ve done. I’ve started walking. I’m enjoying my bible again. I’m starting to remember what your voice sounds like and your hand molding my heart. I’m laying my burdens in your hands. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for not letting me give up on myself. I love you! You are so amazing, kind, good, and patient. Thank you that your ways are higher than mine and that you will show me one day what all this struggle was for. Thank you for guiding my heart and letting me know that I did grow and this perseverance was not in vain. Thank you for your discipline and my answered prayer of driving me away from this nonsense. I pray that my future husband is free from his chains and if not, that he would trust you to free him in your time and continue to fight for his relationship with you and not give in to the devil. Give me the words to help other who are struggling. Help me to tell others you are there and you have a will and purpose for my life and theirs!!!

Amen,

April

Dead to sin, Alive to God

So, I’ve been trying to catch up with my daily bible reading (because I’ve been a slacker and reading less savory things) and today I read Romans 6. You can read it here.

The first half of the chapter talks about being united in death with Christ so we may be united in ressurection with him and live this life free of enslavement to sin. If you read the first few verses Paul asks, “Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?” Well, I mean, does it make sense to continue rebelling against God just so others can know just how much we’ve been forgiven of? Of course not!!! It’s the whole idea of serving two masters. You can’t follow God and live in sin…trust me, I’ve tried for years and it’s worn me down. Paul is so fervent on this point. He says, “By no means!” So then why is it so durn hard to remember that my old self was crucified with Jesus so I am no longer chained by sin. Why can’t I walk in the freedom God promised when he sent his son for me and called me into his family? This chapter reminded me that I don’t have to give up. All those times I’m tempted, I don’t have to give in because my God is bigger than my sin and has rescued me from it. Why do I keep going back for more sin when I have the peace and grace of God on my side? He is right here with me at all times so why would I choose sin over him? My life should be lived to God. I am alive in him because I died with him. I can present myself as one who has been brought from death to life and am willing to be used by him as an instrument of righteousness. “For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” v 14

Which moves us on to the next part. Because if we are no longer slaves to sin, we must be slaves to something right? I mean, we are a people designed ultimately to follow and worship our creator, so we gotta follow something. Just because we are under grace doesn’t mean we can still sin. God’s forgiveness comes with a change of heart and a desire to follow him and turn away from sin, so perpetual sin has no place in the life of a believer. Christ came to set us free not so we would rebind ourselves, but so his glory may abound! It’s all about our heart condition. When we strive in obedience to God’s will from our hearts we become slaves of righteousness which leads to our sanctification. No good fruit comes from obedience to sin but fruit from obedience to God leads to eternal life. No more need to be ashamed of the past. No more need to feel guilty for past sin or trapped in addictions and current sin habits. No more condemnation when I mess up one more time. I AM FREE!!!! Not only that but this all comes from God’s FREE gift of salvation! He’s not asking me to stay ashamed or to constantly feel guilty or like if only I could work harder, then God would forgive me. He only asks that I come and love and rest. :-D He justs wants to offer me a place to revel in this gift and become more like him through obedience and sanctification.

O Lord, sanctify me. Thank you for freeing me, for asking nothing of me but devotion. Not that that’s easy, but you also offer to carry the load. Following you should be the easiest decision I’ve ever made because you are already in charge. Nothing I do changes that. And isn’t that such a comfort to know that I have no control over these things that happen in this world. I do wish I could do better sometimes, but I think I focus so much on doing better that I forget just to give you glory and praise you for all you’ve done. Thank you for forgiving me, for changing my life, for calling me one of your own. Make me a slave to you. Teach me obedience to righteousness and not this crap I call life sometimes. My sin does not dictate who I am. It changes nothing. I am still yours. You knew it was coming. :-) Thank you for loving me anyway. Help me not be so busy trying to hear your call, that I miss it because I wasn’t living my life for you.

Amen,

April

rock out

Wow….so the youth went skiing this weekend. It was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! The youth were great, the weather was warm (it could’ve been colder and I wouldn’t have minded), we only had one injury, the concert was amazing (I’m in love with Jimmy Needham and Rush of Fools completely and totally now), and I was reminded that God is not disappointed in me. Everything I do, he already knew it was coming and saved me anyway. :-D I’ll probably have some more amazingness once I organize my thoughts from this weekend more, but hearing someone I admire for his talent get up there on that stage and say I struggle with trying to earn my salvation meant more to me than just about anything that happened this weekend. I always feel guilty and think that maybe if I can fix one more thing about me, then God will love me more or something. Maybe I think life will be easier or something, but either way…knowing that I’m not alone and there are others out there who think that God is just waiting for one more screw up just reminded me that God’s grace is good and perfect and he knew exactly what I was going to be when he made me! :-D He made me that way!!! :-) how much more encouraging can you get? So yeah, good weekend, even if my leg does hurt Miranda!!! ;-)

Love from The Wonder of the World,

April

song of the weekend: Wonder of the World by Rush of Fools

father
how can it be that you are
father to me
savior
how can it be that you are
savior for me
youre everything i need

(chorus)
wonder of the world
youve been more wonderful to me
and as long as i can speak
i will say so
i’ll say so
wonder of the world
you are displayed for all to see
and for all eternity
i will say so

healer
how can it be that you are
healer in me
favor
how can it be that you show
favor on me
everything i need

(chorus)
wonder of the world
youve been more wonderful to me
and as long as i can speak
i will say so
i’ll say so
wonder of the world
you are displayed for all to see
and for all eternity
i will say so

(bridge)
i cant be silent
i cant be quiet
for all youve done
i couldnt fight it
i cannot hide it
all youve done
all youve done

(chorus)
wonder of the world
youve been more wonderful to me
and for all eternity
i will say so

wonder of the world
youve been more wonderful to me
and as long as i can speak
i will say so
i’ll say so
wonder of the world
you are displayed for all to see
and for all eternity
i will say so
say so

just one more thing

So, I was playing on my computer (which I do too much and am trying to cut down) and this song came on by Sara Groves called Just One More Thing and it really got me to thinking about how I always put important stuff off (like reading my bible) for doing something that doesn’t really matter in the long run (reading fanfiction). Read the lyrics and see if you can relate.

There’s always just one more thing • There’s always another task • There’s always I just have one more small favor to ask • And everything is urgent and everything is now • I wonder what would really happen if I stopped somehow • • I’ll be there in a minute • Just a few places to go • You wake up a few years later and your kids are grown • And everything is important • But everything is not • At the end of your life your relationships are all you’re got • • And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say • I’ve got something better to do • And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say • Nothing will come between me and you • Not even one more thing • • There will never be an end to • The request upon your time • It’s your place to stand up and tell the world • You’ve got to rest awhile • And everything is important • But everything is not • At the end of your life your relationships are all you’ve got • • And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say • I’ve got something better to do • And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say • Nothing will come between me and you • Not even one more thing

I mean, I have lots of better things to do, like get on with my life and stop sitting in front of the computer wasting away. But it’s hard to move on with life when you’re running away from God as hard as I am sometimes. I’m so scared that I’m going to miss something if I lay it all down for God. But if I really love him, isn’t that EXACTLY what I’m called to do? Lay it all on the line for the one who rules my life and deserves all the glory for everything he’s done for me? So Lord, teach me to focus on my love for you and others and not that one thing that always comes up and gets in the way.

Love from Jesus,

April