So, despite how rough this semester has been, God has given me a great peace about the end of it. Things are not over. I’ve really only scratched the surface of some of the major personal things I’ve been dealing with this semester, but despite that, I have gained a better understanding of who God has made me to be. I am very thankful for the struggles of this semester. As it says in James 1:2-4 “Count it all joy, my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” Even though it’s been painful and I know it’s not the end, I can count it all joy because My God is making me complete and more like His Son. God’s plan is perfect and though I may not trust it at times, in the end it is the best plan for my life, better than anything I could even begin to imagine. I have also learned that God is a God of growing. My impatience will not make Him move any faster in my life. No matter how many times I ask Him to change my heart or to cut some temptation from my life, He’s not going to do it until He’s good and ready and will get the most glory from it. Over these past 15 weeks, lots of things have come up. I’ve struggled with my class load, I’ve battled an ongoing temptation, I’ve begun to accept myself for who I am and not who other people think I should be, I’ve learned to stand up for how I feel about things, and have failed to stand up and tells others how I feel. It has been a long and painful journey, one I’ve been on for years and didn’t even realize it. Despite having to wait for God’s timing, I have grown this semester. God has changed my perspective on a lot of things, opened my eyes to some others, and just overall drawn me closer to Himself. I love Him now more than ever, but I’ve had my fair share of Habakkuk moments where I’ve wondered if bringing the Babylonians to destroy everything was really necessary (thank you Bible College 
). A few days ago, I was talking to my RA and I just was overcome with this sense of peace about every little thing that has caught my attention, convicted me, sparked tears, or really planted itself in my heart that didn’t make sense at the time (and most still don’t). It’s all coming together in this beautiful, big picture. I can’t see the picture or anything about it really, but I have peace knowing that God can see it because he drew, painted, collaged, glittered, and colored it. 
Yeah, I thought that was cute. I’m slowly learning to stop focusing on the ink stains of life, as Elisabeth Elliot calls them. You know that guy across from you in the meeting with the pens in his shirt pocket. One has leaked and it’s this annoying blotch on his shirt that he hasn’t noticed yet. You get so caught up in the stain that you forget 99% of the shirt is still clean. This is how we look at life sometimes. I’ve gotten so focused on all my issues and hangups this semester that I’ve forgotten God’s already taken care of that blotch. I’m clothed in a beautiful white dress with “MINE” written all over it because I am Jesus’ beautiful bride just waiting for the wedding day. I’m clothed in the purity of Christ and I no longer have to get stuck on the stain because the Holy Spirit is cleaning it off my heart as I grow closer to the blessed Trinity. I am a daughter of the King (which makes me a princess ) and am dearly loved by my Beloved. I’m a mixed bag when it comes to whatever God has in store for the future, because I know it’s not going to be all happy times, but I do know that if it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t be worth it.
So now, we’re heading home after one more week and I am looking forward to having some time to work through a few things with my family. I’m also traveling to Missouri for the second half of break so hopefully I’ll have pictures and stories about that (there is a potential blind date out there apparently :-/).
I hope you know today that you are dearly loved by your Beloved as well. Times may be hard, you may be really struggling, or things may be going amazingly and you’re just rejoicing through the ceiling. Either way, I pray you find peace this holiday season and find rest in the Baby Lord who came to earth for us. He longs to carry your yolk and takes all your worries and cares because He loves you. He is your husband who loved you to the point of giving up His life for you. Your troubles are nothing for Him to handle compared to that. Love Him this Christmas.
Merry Christmas (and a Happy New Year if you don’t hear from me before then),
April <><
So since I love Christmas songs and this one if my favorite, I thought I’d share a video with you!
Christmas Eve by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
http://www.facebook.com/aprilmay210/posts/171421229545946
